The number one reason behind many perspective clients (mostly brides) not attending premarital counseling is their fiance doesn't want to. You cannot make someone do what they don't want to do, but in this case you really should try. The benefits vastly outweigh the costs, especially when you book with me!There are so many reasons to attend premarital counseling. Two that are my favorite: an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure, and investing in your relationship through counseling is a sure fire way to prove your commitment. Let's not beat around the bush. Here are the things to put in front of your lovey so that he can get on board.
1. Reduction in Marriage License
Money is such a motivator in many cases. In the state of Georgia you can get your marriage license down to $27! The original price varies by county, but who doesn't love a discount? I know what he is going to say. "But we have to pay for premarital counseling anyway, so the price doesn't matter". He is somewhat correct. Here is where I make my plug. My prices are some of the lowest you will find in the Metro Atlanta area, period. It isn't because I am inadequate or the quality isn't good. I keep my costs down by offering sessions online and in your home, so I have no building lease/rent to pay. Also, I want to make premarital counseling affordable to everyone. The well off aren't the only ones who should reap all of the benefits of relationship education.
2. Learn how to Argue
I am not going to give away all the wonderful gems that you learn in session, but learning how to argue in a healthy manner is key for a long lasting, enjoyable relationship. Disagreements, arguments, bickering - whatever you want to call it - is going to happen. Couples have to know how to respectfully disagree with one another and leave the conversation with a solution. And in those times where a solution cannot be reached, both parties should at least feel heard and valued.
3. Plan for the Future
This is the perfect place to go over expectations about marriage, children, family traditions, and many other things. Most couples are surprised at what aspects don't line up with their perfect image of the future. You may have had some semblance of a conversation about these topics, but the thing about meeting with a professional is they know the things you haven't talked about.
Because you don't know how to argue, discussing such hard hitting topics can get real heated, real quick. I will be there to help you navigate discussing various topics and practicing strategies to listen and be heard. When you have someone holding your hand along the way, it makes it easier to do on your own.
5. Discover New Things About Each Other
Every couple I have worked with has learned something new about their partner. Whether they had been together for two years or five, there is always something new to learn about your significant other. Why? We are human, that is why! Humans are evolving, ever changing creatures. Our experiences continue to mold who we are day-in and day-out.
I hope these help convince your fiance to take the plunge. I offer a la carte sessions for this very reason! Do one session and see how you like it. I promise you'll keep coming back. :)
I cannot begin to count the numerous times I have been asked this ridiculous question. If you are anything like my husband and me, you have been asked that question, too. Matt and I are 24 and 22 years old, respectively. He proposed to me after I graduated from The University of Georgia, and we wed on our six year anniversary. We waited until I got my degree, we waited six years, we waited until we had a stable and comfortable income. I am not sure what else we were supposed to be waiting for!
What is the rush? Why are you getting married now? Well, why not? When you and your partner are so certain about each other, then why not enter into the second most sacred relationship God created? Now don't get me wrong. I am not saying to rush into anything based off of lust and pixie dust. As a relationship educator I believe there are several conversations to be had and tools to be utilized before making that commitment. But, when you know you have found the one sculpted for you, then why not?
Relationships are like plants. They need to be watered, pruned, nurtured with new soil, and re-potted to thrive. When someone asks you about the rush, think of your relationship as that plant. Tell them there is no rush, you are just moving it to a new pot to flourish.