The holiday season is notoriously known for its hustle and bustle, and it can become hard to connect with our loved ones the way that we feel we are supposed to. The season is filled with the joyous gatherings of family and friends, but the stress looms. The stress to get EVERYONE a present. The stress to spend real money on said present. The stress to see everyone and go everywhere. You have your partner's family of origin, your friends, your own family of origin, and then the family you've created! Who really gets priority here?
The answer... you! Running yourself ragged at the expense of others this holiday season doesn't make you anything but tired and spent once the new year comes around. In order to be there for others, you actually have to start saying no instead of yes. You set the stage for how the holiday season will be experienced. If you are constantly putting others ahead of yourself then you will enter into the season as the Grinch, resentful towards others because you're taking care of them, and so are they. Who is taking care of you? Well... it's supposed to be you!
This blog post is inspired by Kristin Maneiri's on The Gottman Institute titled, How to Stay Connected as a Couple Through the Holidays. The first thing she says to do is block out white space, meaning set time aside on your calendar for you. Notice how this is all about YOU! You need to take care of you before anyone else. We always hear the analogy about putting the mask on yourself, but I promise it is repeated so often because it is true. Taking time for yourself has to be intentional. You have to stop saying, "When I get time I will...". News flash: YOU WILL NEVER GET TIME. Especially not during the holidays. During this time, don't reach for your phone and get stressed out by social media. Listen to a podcast, veg out on some Netflix, or lay back on the couch and just breathe.
Click on the link below to read the rest of Kristin's article on staying connected as a couple during this busy time.
I cannot begin to count the numerous times I have been asked this ridiculous question. If you are anything like my husband and me, you have been asked that question, too. Matt and I are 24 and 22 years old, respectively. He proposed to me after I graduated from The University of Georgia, and we wed on our six year anniversary. We waited until I got my degree, we waited six years, we waited until we had a stable and comfortable income. I am not sure what else we were supposed to be waiting for!
What is the rush? Why are you getting married now? Well, why not? When you and your partner are so certain about each other, then why not enter into the second most sacred relationship God created? Now don't get me wrong. I am not saying to rush into anything based off of lust and pixie dust. As a relationship educator I believe there are several conversations to be had and tools to be utilized before making that commitment. But, when you know you have found the one sculpted for you, then why not?
Relationships are like plants. They need to be watered, pruned, nurtured with new soil, and re-potted to thrive. When someone asks you about the rush, think of your relationship as that plant. Tell them there is no rush, you are just moving it to a new pot to flourish.