The holiday season is notoriously known for its hustle and bustle, and it can become hard to connect with our loved ones the way that we feel we are supposed to. The season is filled with the joyous gatherings of family and friends, but the stress looms. The stress to get EVERYONE a present. The stress to spend real money on said present. The stress to see everyone and go everywhere. You have your partner's family of origin, your friends, your own family of origin, and then the family you've created! Who really gets priority here?
The answer... you! Running yourself ragged at the expense of others this holiday season doesn't make you anything but tired and spent once the new year comes around. In order to be there for others, you actually have to start saying no instead of yes. You set the stage for how the holiday season will be experienced. If you are constantly putting others ahead of yourself then you will enter into the season as the Grinch, resentful towards others because you're taking care of them, and so are they. Who is taking care of you? Well... it's supposed to be you!
This blog post is inspired by Kristin Maneiri's on The Gottman Institute titled, How to Stay Connected as a Couple Through the Holidays. The first thing she says to do is block out white space, meaning set time aside on your calendar for you. Notice how this is all about YOU! You need to take care of you before anyone else. We always hear the analogy about putting the mask on yourself, but I promise it is repeated so often because it is true. Taking time for yourself has to be intentional. You have to stop saying, "When I get time I will...". News flash: YOU WILL NEVER GET TIME. Especially not during the holidays. During this time, don't reach for your phone and get stressed out by social media. Listen to a podcast, veg out on some Netflix, or lay back on the couch and just breathe.
Click on the link below to read the rest of Kristin's article on staying connected as a couple during this busy time.